That was the title of our Bible study last night. Now, of course I've heard that like everyone else...but my youth minister said something else that struck me. Something personal and resonating.
How often do we ask God for vague things (grow me in wisdom and patience) or small things (help me pass this test)? How often do we ask God for someone to be healed from a disease or for abortion to end? Think about this. Be honest with yourself. I came to my own startling conclusion.
I'm afraid to ask God for miracles. The God who healed thousands, raised the dead, commanded the sea, and created the universe. Ridiculous right? It's true. I think there's a few reasons why I leave the vague, small things in life to God.
1) I'm afraid of disappointment. What if God doesn't come through or do what I pray for? Will I lose faith? Will I discredit Him and everything else He's done in my life? The fact that these questions sound absurd points to the craziness of my subconscious and Satan's work in it.
2) I'm skeptical. Despite the fact that I've known people cured by prayer, I've read about Eucharistic miracles, and friends have attested to God's personal working in their lives. I can't help but laugh at myself, but also feel a deep sorrow. Why can't this skepticism be crushed by the obvious, moving presence of an almighty God? I don't know. But I have begun praying for more faith. Doubt runs through my veins.
3) I'm "protecting" God. What if I tell someone to pray for a miracle that never happens? Will they turn from God forever and not accept His saving love? Will God suddenly seem inadequate and incapable, under-qualified and incompetent? It sounds so silly, but subconsciously, it's there. I don't want God to look bad to people, because, while I know He has a plan for everything, they might not and one unanswered prayer may turn them away for life.
The conclusion I've come to? Indeed, I must let God be God. I have to let Him rule my life and my character. God doesn't need my protection. If I truly believe in a God who has an intricate plan for every single thing and who knit me (and every other person individually who has, does, and ever will exist) in the womb, I have to choose to recognize that He doesn't disappoint in the big picture. He can do everything and He ultimately will if we allow ourselves to be used to His will.
"
Thy will be done"
Comments (2)
Funny Cause I came to that same conclusion while I was at D-Week last week.. I asked for miracles because I was sick of not trusting Him.
Interesting...
I used to ask him for small miracles all the time, and he delivered...but I've stopped. I had some doubts and even though those passed, I haven't prayed for miracles since really....
And I've always been afraid to ask for big miracles...I don't think I have enough faith to make them happen. My faith is significantly smaller than a mustard seed....